dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
