Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
whose parrot is this?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
