Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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