margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
