I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
