tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
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