wake up i wanna do it froggy style
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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