I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sext me about skeletons
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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