I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
