Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize