is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
