Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
