god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
