well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
