Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
