No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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