on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
