hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
