I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A+ Viking dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
