You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
