i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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