i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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