White coat. Heels.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
