Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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