oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
