I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Say something about gay babies.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
