Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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