dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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