she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
