So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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