i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
