My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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