I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
