He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
