So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
