Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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