I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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