New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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