11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
