Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
