Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
