SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
