hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
