I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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