just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
