4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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