And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
