he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
