Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
