Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
