He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
